Wisconsin is a quirky place: We deep fry our cheese, consider tailgating a sport in itself and, yes, we’ll talk your ear off about the weather. But the quirkiest things might just be the locals themselves. Charlie Berens is an American journalist, comedian, musician and host of the “Manitowoc Minute,” a satirical online news series covering all of Wisconsin’s cheesiest charms. Whether you’ve lived here your whole life or have just passed through, you’ll never forget the quirks that make it special. That’s the Wisconsin way: blending unforgettable traditions with new stories — and no one channels that quite like Berens.
This conversation has been edited for clarity and brevity.
Would you rather give up cheese curds or only drink warm beer for the rest of your life?
Oh, I’d only drink warm beer. Yeah. Some beer is really good warm, believe it or not. I don’t know that I want to give up cheese curds.
Would you rather get free old fashioneds at the supper clubs in Wisconsin or free Kwik Trip Glazers every morning?
I’d say old fashioneds.
Would you rather spend a week ice fishing with a bunch of Illinois tourists or get stuck behind a tractor on a one-lane road for a month?
I’d sit behind a tractor. At least you’re looking at a hardworking guy. You can learn a lot sitting behind a tractor. It’s kind of like sitting watching a train go by. Sometimes you got to slow down. And also, more importantly, I’m not in the proximity of a FIB, so I’d say that with love.
Would you rather never be able to say “ope” again or have to yell it every single time you accidentally make eye contact with somebody?
I pretty much already do say it every time I make eye contact with someone, so I’ll just go with that.
Would you rather have to shovel your driveway in July or mow your lawn in February?
I mean, the way climate change is going, we’re probably going to do both. I’m just kidding. I mean, I’m kind of serious actually, but I would say I’d rather shovel in July.
Would you rather have to wear a Packers Cheesehead or only wear flannels at all formal events you attend?
I would say Packers Cheesehead, because that’s a stylish choice, you know? Flannels are wonderful, but you want to diversify it a little bit. And Cheeseheads, you know, there’s different sorts of ages. Like an aged Cheesehead is a little bit more brown so you can wear it with a brown suit, whereas if you get a sharper, fresh pitch piece that’s yellow, you can wear that with brighter colors. You can be more versatile with Cheeseheads.
Would you rather have your life narrated 24/7 by a Packers announcer or have “Jump Around” playing in your head instead?
I would have loved to have it narrated by Wayne Larrivee. I love that song, obviously, but if it’s in my head all the time, then that’s gonna take away from the third quarter at the Badgers game, and I don’t want to ruin that moment either.
Would you rather have to say, “Tell your folks I said hi” to every single stranger you meet or end every sentence with, “Don’t cha know?”
‘Tell your folks I says hi,’ yeah, I think for sure that. I think that’s a very standard Midwest Wisconsin thing. It just feels good, you know?
What do you think your favorite quirk about the Midwest is?
Oh my gosh, there’s so many things. But that idea that we say I love you in weird ways, you know, like watch out for deer. We show you our love. We don’t need to say it, you know? Or because we show you our love, we don’t always need to say ‘I love you.’
What do you miss most about Wisconsin when you’re out touring the nation?
The great outdoors … my family and outside. And I think there’s no prettier place in the world than Wisconsin. We’ve got just incredible forests, incredible trails. Hikes right along Lake Michigan are insanely beautiful, and whether you’re out there fishing, or hunting, or camping or whatever, you’d be hard pressed to find a more beautiful place in Wisconsin.
Out of all the weird Wisconsin lingo, what’s your favorite slang word?
‘It’s a horse apiece.’ I just like saying it to people who have no idea. I know they’re not gonna know what it means, and I just like seeing the looks on their face after I say it. It’s polite confusion is what it is mostly. Like, am I supposed to know what that means?
Why do you think that the Midwest and Wisconsin in general are truly a special place?
I think we are a place that is filled with people of all walks of life. It’s a very loving place. It’s a place filled with quirk, and it’s a place that embraces its quirk. You don’t see a lot of other teams in Major League Baseball tailgating. There’s not another state that wears a piece of dairy as headwear, you know? There’s not a whole lot of other places that takes its great pride in a deer camp, which is oftentimes a building that doesn’t even have indoor plumbing, you know? We find the joys in the little things here, and that’s what life’s about. It’s about the little things, and that’s something I think the Midwest has mastered.
Feature photo courtesy of Jesse Chieffo